Journal Entry February 19, 2008
I had another wretched sleep last night and wonder how I’ll go on at this rate. I long for those nights of endless slumber where sleep was sweet and not tortured. The fact my emotions are all over the map and I feel like I’m going nuts may be related to sleep deprivation as readily as my hellish existence.
Prior to revelation I slept peacefully while my guilt-ridden husband tossed and turned upon his bed. How the tables have turned. The weight of truth brought sorrow, and sorrow brought insomnia. Sleep eludes me. How am I going to cope?
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After the revelation of my husband's betrayal, a chaotic pattern of short bursts of sleep interspersed with many tear-filled moments became the norm. After five months, I began to worry that my sleeping patterns would never return to normal. Insomnia had set in and though I had never been one to take medication lightly, I knew I had to consider the option.

Finally I went to my doctor. She was shocked for a few reasons: One that I had gone so long dealing with insomnia and two that I was battling depression without coming to see her. (I will write about depression in the following weeks.)

She normally prescribed a sleeping aid while dealing with the initial shock of adultery. However, because I was well past that point she remained reluctant because they easily become addictive.

To determine if my sleep was slowly improving she asked me to write down the hours slept and keep track of the times I woke up. If I could not chart a small improvement every week, than medication would be considered. Thankfully I noted small increments of change for the better.

It took a full year and a half to resume normal sleeping patterns, but thank the good Lord His healing was complete, including the ability to once again sleep peacefully and pain free. He will do the same for you, but don’t be afraid to get the professional help you need. There are times medication is both helpful and necessary.