The following photo depicts this anomaly.
Fall or free fall? You decide.
During my healing process I often journaled my pain. At times God would bring revelation and understanding. Here is one such entry…
August 24, 2008
Today the Pastor delivered a sermon describing the role of the peacemaker, or more aptly put, one who pursues peace for the benefit of someone else’s good.
The pastor described a peace keeper not as someone who bite their tongue in all situations while others walk all over and manipulate, but rather, as one who actively pursues peace in all situations.This is my great dilemma, am I a peacemaker or a doormat?
So, I ask dear pastor, how does one keep from crossing over that fine line between the two.
I tried to live as one who pursued peace and I have in return been gravely disrespected and betrayed. Despite following this Godly principle of pursing peace it became an opportunity to easily be taken advantage of.
My counselor tells me I have the right to express anger in constructive ways. But how can this so-called constructive anger that shrivels David into a broken piece of humanity be the work of a peacemaker?
Can one be angry, hurt and disappointed in the marriage and yet still live the life of a peacemaker? If so, how?
Do I refuse to discuss the elephant in the room and let the stones I so long to hurl slip from my fingers? Or does it mean that I heal enough to kick that elephant out of the room?
Perhaps a peacemaker is simply one that views the fallen as Jesus does, a redeemable human being loved by God.
I was confused until I hit upon this last statement. I think I now understand what a peacemaker is…one that fully comprehends the injustice, but despite the pain chooses to walk toward a peaceful resolution.
When I wrote this, I did not know if my marriage would survive or not...only God did. However, my choice to pursue peace was the best gift I ever gave my children. They did not get caught in the middle of our mess. I encourage all who do not have the choice of reconciliation, to remember you still have the choice to pursue peace and forgiveness.
In the end, all that stands eternally is our choice to love and forgive as Christ did for us on the cross.