Thanks to a rather blunt email I received regarding a recent blog, I have my topic for today.The topic involves the concept of taking control of one’s life and what that might look like.
This reader who was obviously in deep pain caused from betrayal, asked me a few valid questions.
- Why would I open my life and speak freely on a very personal family matter (adultery)?
- Why would I broadcast and humiliate my family in this manner?
- How could I believe in a God who does not look out for me?
- Why wouldn’t I just take control of my life?
These are thoughtful questions that deserve an answer.
Firstly, I know that being open does not fit everyone’s personality and there is no harm in keeping things private. However, the circumstances surrounding our situation became very public. After I healed and felt much stronger I believed God wanted me to be transparent and honest for the soul purpose of helping others. It is not a woe-is-me account, or a pity party, it is a way in which to identify with others who are in the middle crisis. The reader is not left wondering if I understand their situation, but it is not left there...they are pointed toward healing, happiness and a life of joy.
I would never write these deeply personal blogs without the blessing of both my husband and my grown children. They encourage my honesty and embrace the reason I write about such a painful season of my life. Our family believes that the pain should NOT be wasted. Something good can come out of something so difficult by helping others find healing through the power of Jesus Christ.
Secondly, God did not create the betrayal that happened in my marriage, in fact all sin deeply saddens Him, but because He is all-knowing He knew it was going to happen. He also knew His love and power would heal my deepest wounds and give me strength to NOT become a hard, embittered woman. How different this response is compared to living a life burdened with unforgiveness, bitterness, and perpetual anger. I know because I lived that way for a season and it was sheer torture.
Lastly, on the subject of control, many feel this is done by kicking the offender to the curb, or shutting down their emotions to ensure they do not get hurt again. This type of control leads to a life full of anger, bitterness and low self-esteem. Healing cannot grow in the contaminated soil of hatred.
Conversely, choosing to manage the pain of betrayal God’s way facilitates healing and gives all the control a person needs. Whether the marriage survives (depending on the willingness for change on all fronts), or the marriage dies, healing is needed and independent of either scenario. God promises to heal the broken-hearted either way. Psalm 147:3
I make no apologies for pointing every reader to the healing power of Jesus Christ, but do respectfully acknowledge this may be a foreign concept to many. Please email me directly if you have questions about how to turn to God for help, or if you desire to learn more about how you too can heal.
Who controls the ocean,
orchestrates the tides,
and sets the sun behind its rim?
The same God who can bring healing to your tortured soul!