I read Michael Hyatt’s blog almost daily. He normally educates on writing, leadership and public speaking but this day he veered off that path to a topic near and dear to my heart…How to avoid adultery.
The following is part of his July 14, 2012 blog post called: What Are You Doing to Protect Your Marriage? | Michael Hyatt
“Here are three actions I take in order to protect my marriage:
- I invest in my relationship with Gail. It is amazing to me that so many men are willing to invest such enormous spiritual, emotional, and financial resources in relationships other than the one they have. This doesn’t make economic sense. If you want your marriage to grow and flourish, you must invest in it. This means investing time—dreaming, laughing, listening, and crying together.
- I set specific boundaries.This may sound old-fashioned, perhaps even legalistic. So be it. I think our world could use a little old-fashioned common sense. Therefore:
- I will not go out to eat alone with someone of the opposite sex.
- I will not travel alone with someone of the opposite sex.
- I will not flirt with someone of the opposite sex.
- I will speak often and lovingly of my wife. (This is the best adultery repellant known to man.)
- I consider what is at stake. What story do I want my grandchildren to tell? This puts it all in perspective for me. Do I want them to be proud of my life’s story or embarrassed? Do I want to be remembered as a person who loves his wife and is faithful to her? Or do I want to be the one who squandered his legacy in a moment of indiscretion?”
Okay, you ask how does this apply to those of us who have been betrayed by our spouses? Isn’t this knowledge a little too late?
Interestingly enough it ties in more than you think. For us 35% of marriages that survive after adultery, AND for second marriages, statistics prove that BOTH parties are far more susceptible to an affair than before.
Why both partners? Because the sacred bond of marriage has been broken.
Satan would love nothing more than to tempt the betrayer back into sin, or as Michael Hyatt quoted above, make them feel they have already squandered their legacy in a moment of indiscretion so what does it matter?
I believe this statement by Michael Hyatt was said to deter infidelity but should be furthered by a discussion on redemption. God redeems. God forgive. God removes confessed sin as far as the east is from the west. In keeping with this Biblical truth, there is hope in restoring not only a marriage, but a reputation. God’s powerful transformation of a soul can leave room for the adulterer to indeed end his or her life story with a beautiful legacy.
More importantly I include this blog as a caution to the one betrayed. For Satan not only orchestrates temptation, but whispers “Why not even the score?”
Some would argue this is justice.
But we inherently know the truth… don’t we? And it’s the truth that sets us free. There is no justice in sin. There is no way to right a wrong by engaging in wrong. Also, sin creates Spiritual separation from God.
Yes, I was tempted in my weakest moment because Satan delights in sinful distractions...but that's a story for next week’s blog… Called “The choice to feel or heal.”
But for today, take to heart Michael Hyatt’s excellent advice on marriage whether you are currently in a good marriage, restoring a difficult marriage, or entering into a new marriage.
-Invest in your spouse.
-Determine how you want your life story to read.
-And for those who have committed adultery…consider how you want your life story to end…and end