HEAL OR REPLACE?
After the betrayal of adultery a decision will need to be made.
Will you choose to replace your sorrow with another relationship or heal from the pain FIRST?
This is a simple but complex question.
Simple because there is only one logical answer…and that is to heal FIRST! If you don’t, no relationship will work, not restoration of your marriage, nor any other one.
The decision is also complex because Satan will undoubtedly send a distraction to dissuade and deter.
What do I mean regarding the word replace?
Let me tell you a little story.
ONCE UPON A TIME…There was a young lady who lived her dream in a wonderful life. After the trauma of childhood dysfunction, she believed she met her prince charming, the one who would save her from all harm.
They lived an idyllic existence where blessings flowed. They had smart children, a fine house in town and a lake cottage for those summers of fun in the sun. Cars, boats, seadoos, motorcycles whatever toys and holidays they desired was not denied. Money was not an issue as the business flourished and the children grew healthy and strong.
She felt blessed.
He grew bored.
Darkness filtered in where the sun once shone.
One late October morn she found out the truth. Her prince charming was charming another.
Hell hath no fury, they say, when a woman is scorned, and wow did this woman ever feel the truth of those words. That Christmas instead of visions of sugarplums dancing in her head, visions of sinister revenge flowed all too freely.
Working through the pain of low self-esteem, anger, and revengeful thoughts toward the land of forgiveness, required supernatural power. She did not want to turn into the Wicked Witch of the West and become a living vessel of evil so she made a decision to turn to the only source of power available to fight such darkness. Her Heavenly Father did not disappoint.
Begging God to heal the gaping wound, the arrow straight through her heart, she set out on a journey far, far, away. Her quest in this sojourn was simple; she desired to find inner healing.
At this point the Evil One, who had orchestrated her ruin, grew worried. She was not self-destructing and turning away from her God, but instead traveling the Yellow Brick road of forgiveness toward freedom.
He was incensed. His plan to destroy this "Goodie Two Shoes" once and for all, was not working. In fact she was actually contemplating the restoration of her marriage and believing that her prince charming indeed had turned from his evil ways, was repentant and willing to turn his life over to God. He had seen this transformation in his human subjects before and he hated the power behind her God.
Well he had one last trick up his sleeve, one sure to turn the cards back in his favor. He wanted not only her destruction, but her husband and children as well. He had to stop that marriage from being restored.
He knew she was weak. After all, her self-esteem remained non-existent. She still believed that she was not good enough, not pretty enough, not interesting enough. She was as they say…ripe for the picking.
Hence…In enters Prince Churning. He would stir the pot. He would distract. He would serve up a morsel of goodness…before bringing a feast of bad. He would lead her down a garden path with flowery compliments, promises of never-ending love and sweet seduction and she would fall…fall…fall. They all did!
The Evil One knew he didn’t need someone tall, dark and handsome…just the inside dark and outside reasonably handsome. This combination worked splendidly. He set into motion that very scenario.
Prince Churning persisted.
She grew tempted.
Prince Churning poured on the attention.
She prayed for healing and wisdom.
Her God responded.
“Do you want to replace or heal?”
She pondered the thought, knowing fully what it meant. But the truth remained, this distraction made her feel alive, beautiful, and desirable, all those things she had lost. It felt wonderful…yet oddly empty.
“That’s why you need to heal.” Her God reminded her.
“The day you believe that you are as I created you…beautiful, desirable, and worthy of love, is the day you will be healed. This can’t be done through the accolades of a dark stranger; it can only be done through My power.
“The choice is yours…immediate gratification, (which will lead to sorrow because he will fail you) … or lean in, lean on, lean fully into Me.
“I will heal you!”
She knew her God spoke truth and life, and so she listened. The dark stranger was sent packing and she began to pray Jeremiah 17:14, “Heal me, O Lord, and I will be healed; save me and I will be saved, for you are the one I praise.”
A chilling scream split the air, the kingdom of darkness hated to lose. The Evil One could not get close due to the strength her God gave her. He shriveled in size and power each time she acted upon her decision to heal not replace.
There was going to be a “happily ever after”…after all, and he hated it.
As you have most likely guessed that story is mine. Next week I will give some practical advice on how to heal, not replace, but for today, I want you to know, there is a very real enemy who will endeavor to distract you from the hard work of healing. This is not make-believe, nor a fairytale. This is reality.
When the rejection of adultery hits a life, we enter a weakened state and become susceptible to the attack of the enemy. Sometimes these attacks come in a very attractive package.
Make your decision today…to heal, not replace.