From My Children's Perspective.

I have had numerous positive responses to my blog and few negatives, but this negative response got me thinking...

I had of course received my husband and adult children's blessing  before ever starting such a web site and it was for the very love of God and love of people I opened a very personal struggle up to the public. Sadly when we were in the midst of our pain we were shocked to find little helpful information and even less hope that we could somehow heal our marriage.

But time has passed and when I received the following response to my blog on July 18th, it made me stop and re-evaluate. It is not easy to open our life and failure up to the world, so once again I asked David if it was time to quit?

His response was immediate. "Do you remember the pain and how little help or hope there was?"

That settled that...he had not wavered in his support.

But my kids... how did they really feel now?

So I emailed them the following comment posted by someone unwilling to leave their name and asked them to tell me honestly how they felt. This is how they responded to the following comment. I feel this is one of the most powerful blogs I have posted thus far.

 
Comment to my July 18th blog post.
"Pride is a very strong emotion. I question how you continue to put your personal life out there on the internet and not factor in that you are humiliating your family. Please for the love of god can you use an alias and not continue to embarrass the Turner name."
 
Response from my grown children:

 
Hi there, I'm Blossom's daughter.

I find it ironic that one would respond to a message about the importance of laying down one's pride by stating that the individual should have more pride. Clearly this reader did not understand the message.

I can honestly say that I am incredibly proud of my parents and how they've handled themselves in the face of such adversity. I'm not sure why this reader feels it necessary to dictate what is humiliating to my family and what is not, that is best left in our hands.

My parents have conquered a demon that many cannot. My mother is passionate about helping other people, and that's exactly what she's doing by sharing her story. My dad is fully supportive and that takes a lot of courage on his part.

My parents are surely not the only ones to face infidelity, just read the stats. Others in similar despair have benefited from reading their story and I believe that changes something destructive into something good.

I’m proud of them and proud to be a Turner.

Ally Turner

 
~            ~            ~

 
Hi, I’m Josh, the Turner son. I will respond by simply telling you how it was and what it's like now.

Yes, when I first heard the news I was furious, borderline murderous, but as grace would have it I was 1000 miles away and incapable of acting on my anger. Embarrassment, yeah sure there was plenty of that at the time. I would run into the people on the street that abandoned and disowned my family, then hear the rumors by random people who knew little truth, then listen to some friends and family members love cruel gossip for God knows why, entertainment it seemed.

I felt alienated and the worst part… the only people that I had who really understood was the 4 of us caught in the middle, and frankly I didn't want anything to do with my dad ever again.

Then I got to be part of a miracle…

While people were running their mouths all over town I was forced to focus and deal with the issue at hand…FORGIVENESS. My mom preached it and lived it, but what a grueling process. I learned that when the person who caused the hurt makes every effort to reconcile and truly pursues change with humility and a broken humble spirit, it is then me who becomes wrong to not move forward and try to forgive.

It took me an awful long time to get over it, but I can honestly tell you that I have forgiven my Dad, and I love him. He is a wonderful man who would give the world to anyone who needs it. He is generous, kind, and cares way too much. He doesn't hold account of wrongs, he is funny, he is a provider, he is listener, he is a mentor, he is my father. Regardless of how much he hurt us, regardless of the pain, he was still my father. The reason it hurt so much was because I loved him so much and that never went away but forgiveness transformed the pain.

I believe I am part of a miracle that my family and I survived this and came out stronger in the end. I have learned that no one is as bad as the worst thing they have ever done, nor is someone as good as their best. It is for this reason that I will not hold your worst against you, nor hold to the standard of your best.

"Every scar is a bridge to someone's broken heart," and my mom is building bridges instead of hiding what happened.

I’m not embarrassed. I'm not even angry anymore and neither is anyone in my family. I have no reason to be, because there is no more hurt when one forgives.

I’m Proud to be a Turner!

Joshua Turner