How Did I Not Know?
Like me you may wonder how you did not know that betrayal lived right beneath your nose.
It is a reasonable question.Why didn’t I know? How did I miss the signs? What could I have done differently?
Second-guessing myself became a perpetual thought process in the aftermath. I wanted to understand how adultery happened even while I blissfully believed I had a great marriage, great sex life, and great family.
One word answers this conundrum…TRUST!
I trusted.
You trusted.
The institution of marriage should be based on trust. Business partnerships are birthed out of mutual trust. A child is meant to trust a parent. Friendship is not friendship without trust.
Regardless of how you were betrayed...one thing we all share in common, is that we trusted. But if we take trust out of the equation of our life, what do we have?
- Welcome to fear and paranoia.
- Welcome to a lonely existence.
- Welcome to a life without joy.
Instead, hold your head high. Glory in the fact you did trust and pray that you will learn to trust again.
Though your spirit may scream through tear-drenched days..."I will never trust again, for it hurts too much." I get that, I understand...as you clearly read in Mondays journal entry.
I processed the same way you are, but finally had to consider the dismal alternatives?? At the risk of sounding redundant, I repeat for emphasis...
- Welcome to fear and paranoia.
- Welcome to a lonely existence.
- Welcome to a life without joy.
We begin by placing this question “HOW DID I NOT KNOW?” to rest. The problem was not in the trusting itself, but in the breaking of such beautiful trust.
Does it help to know that others understand your pain and have found a way through?
Yes, I believe it does.
I held onto the fact Jesus not only understood, but also lived through betrayal. His most trusted disciples scattered into the black of night as soldiers hauled Him away. (John 18). Yet, He carried the cross up that hill and exemplified a trust in His Father’s plan, even when Jesus fully understood this plan included His death.
My prayer for you this day…
May the Jesus who understands your suffering, hold you close to His heart and strengthen you.
Just as Spring emerges from the bleakness of Winter, and apple blossoms unfold on a dormant branch, may you have hope to trust not only your decisions but also those around you... even if you cannot trust today.
In conclusion...Start the process of rebuilding trust with this first step forward. Do not regret that you trusted, and pray specifically that God begins to heal that broken place of mistrust within you. In blogs to come, I will further the process of how to restore a life rich in trust and joy.
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About the author
Blossom Turner is an award-winning novelist, and a free-lance writer published in Chicken Soup and Kernels of Hope anthologies, and former newspaper columnist on health and fitness. A Word Guild semi-finalist for Anna's Secret, Katherine's Arrangement, Amelia’s Heartsong, and a Word Guild winner for Best Romance for Lucinda’s Defender. She has found her home in the writing of historical fiction but is open to wherever God leads. The many 5-star reviews attest to the power of love and romance authentically woven into the Shenandoah Bride Series about five sisters and their five love stories.
Blossom lives in British Columbia, Canada, with her husband, David, of forty years and their dog Lacey named after Lacey Spring, Virginia, where this series takes place. A former businesswoman, personal trainer, and mother of two grown children she is now pursuing her lifelong dream of writing full-time. A hopeless romantic at heart, she believes all story should give the reader significant entertainment value. However, her writing embodies the struggles of real life. She infuses the reality of suffering with the hope of Christ to give a healthy dose of relatable encouragement to her reader. Her desire is to leave the reader with a yearning to live for Christ on a deeper level, or at the very least, create a hunger to seek for more.
Co-author Suzie Zanewhich
Suzie is a certified life coach, leader of emotional health, and resource specialist. She has found her niche as a soul coach.
Suzie finds purpose in empowering individuals to move towards growth, healing, and alignment with their authentic self. Suzie is driven by a calling to live authentically, as the person God created her to be, to reach her fullest potential and lead others to do the same. Her passion is to help others find meaning through discovering their strengths, gifts, personality, temperament and core values.
Suzie is a life-long learner, continuously immersing herself in new courses to learn more about human behaviour, relationships, psychology, child development, emotions, trauma and healing. Because of her craving to always learn more she has earned the title of resource specialist in the area of self-discovery.
Suzie Zanewich lives with her husband in Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada. She has a patchwork family of four grown children, two daughters, two sons and three granddaughters.
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