Is There Hope Of Healing?
Are we there yet?
A couple months after the truth came out about David’s infidelity he asked me a question in our counseling session. How far are you along in the healing process?In truth I wanted to bob him, I felt about as healed as a gangrene infected wound. How could he even broach that subject?
The following journal entry tells the story.
January 30, 2007
David was visibly saddened in counseling today.
It hurt to tell him the truth, but I was astounded by his ignorance.
He wondered how I was doing with the healing process? He did not like my answer for he imagined I’d be much farther down the road to recovery.
To put it in terms I thought he would understand, I told him to imagine we were on a road trip from LA to New York toting a truckload of garbage. All along the way we find receptacles in which to dump our junk, and by the time we get to New York it’s gone and our marriage is healed.
I could see him wondering where I was going with this analogy. His expression visibly dropped when I told him we were not out of LA.
“ How far do you think we are?” I asked in astonishment.
I was so surprised to hear he thought we were so much farther along.
REALLY??? YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!
This account signifies a problem that often surfaces when reconciliation is attempted after any type of betrayal. The betrayer is well aware of his/her sin and has plenty of time to adjust to his/her shocking behavior. When the lie finally unfolds they are often more than ready to purge and repent. None of it is a shock to them and they are ready to move on.
The person that has been offended however deals with immense shock. The information is raw and bleeding. If reconciliation is attempted the betrayer has to realize that the person he/she betrayed is at ground zero in the healing process.
I will not lie to you.
Time…even years is needed to fully heal. The process of working through the shock is just the first of it. When David asked me how far along I was just two months after revelation, I was indeed no more than at the end of the road we lived on. There were grief, anger, forgiveness, and self-esteem issues that still needed attention. I most certainly had a truckload of garbage to drop off one item at a time…and I needed time.
You will need time.
You will need God.
But most importantly, there is hope…
You can heal.
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About the author
Blossom Turner is an award-winning novelist, and a free-lance writer published in Chicken Soup and Kernels of Hope anthologies, and former newspaper columnist on health and fitness. A Word Guild semi-finalist for Anna's Secret, Katherine's Arrangement, Amelia’s Heartsong, and a Word Guild winner for Best Romance for Lucinda’s Defender. She has found her home in the writing of historical fiction but is open to wherever God leads. The many 5-star reviews attest to the power of love and romance authentically woven into the Shenandoah Bride Series about five sisters and their five love stories.
Blossom lives in British Columbia, Canada, with her husband, David, of forty years and their dog Lacey named after Lacey Spring, Virginia, where this series takes place. A former businesswoman, personal trainer, and mother of two grown children she is now pursuing her lifelong dream of writing full-time. A hopeless romantic at heart, she believes all story should give the reader significant entertainment value. However, her writing embodies the struggles of real life. She infuses the reality of suffering with the hope of Christ to give a healthy dose of relatable encouragement to her reader. Her desire is to leave the reader with a yearning to live for Christ on a deeper level, or at the very least, create a hunger to seek for more.
Co-author Suzie Zanewhich
Suzie is a certified life coach, leader of emotional health, and resource specialist. She has found her niche as a soul coach.
Suzie finds purpose in empowering individuals to move towards growth, healing, and alignment with their authentic self. Suzie is driven by a calling to live authentically, as the person God created her to be, to reach her fullest potential and lead others to do the same. Her passion is to help others find meaning through discovering their strengths, gifts, personality, temperament and core values.
Suzie is a life-long learner, continuously immersing herself in new courses to learn more about human behaviour, relationships, psychology, child development, emotions, trauma and healing. Because of her craving to always learn more she has earned the title of resource specialist in the area of self-discovery.
Suzie Zanewich lives with her husband in Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada. She has a patchwork family of four grown children, two daughters, two sons and three granddaughters.
Comments 2
Guest - Tracy
on Friday, 20 July 2012 07:57
Thank you for writing this blog. You remove much of the loneliness we feel when we find out our husband betrayed us. My husband is NOT repentant; he and his women go out of their way to make sure to tell me I am a nobody. It is my badge of honor that I trusted and believed in my husband but to my husband and the other women I am a ridiculous joke. You have used your private pain to console others and you remind us God loves us. We are someone to God and this experience we are going through is not rejection from God. Your blog has given me my dignity back and reminded me this hell I am going through will not destroy me because my value comes from God. I see the Beauty God is streaming through you from your ashes and it is a MIRACLE!!!! Thank you for being faithful to your call, you are making a tremendous difference.
Guest - Blossom Turner
on Monday, 23 July 2012 14:08
Dear Tracy,
My heart goes out to you. The agony you are so bravely pushing through is horrific. I want to take a moment to encourage you, to pray for you, to let you know you are not alone in this lonely process. God truly does agonize over every tear that falls. Tracy I will remember you in my prayers with one resounding plea...may God fill every lonely moment and may you rise up from these ashes a triumphant believer in the power of a God who heals in the worst of circumstances.